How to have a better sex life in midlife

How to have a better sex life in midlife

As age increases, various functions and metabolism of the body will decline. Desire and need for sex can also decrease. But this does not mean that there is no sex life, or that middle-aged and elderly people do not need sex. You can have a healthy, rewarding sex life at any age.

Benefits of sex life for middle-aged and elderly people

Sexual life in middle-aged and elderly people can produce oxytocin, dopamine, etc., making them feel happier and happier. It can also relieve stress, fall asleep better, have higher quality sleep and a healthier life. Not only that, regular sex life can also enhance the relationship between partners and regain the feeling of youth. Ignite your libido, boost your confidence and enhance your sexual intimacy.

What hinders the sexual life of middle-aged and elderly people?

1. Sexual desire

As age increases, the lack of desire for sex is the main reason why middle-aged and elderly people do not have sex. Decreased hormone levels also contribute to a lack of sexual desire, and while there are treatments available with some hormones, the risks may outweigh the benefits. Some diseases such as depression and anxiety can lead to a decrease in sexual desire. There are other physical ailments, life stress, side effects of medications, and estrangement from your partner, to name a few. These problems will lead to a certain lack of sexual desire in middle-aged and elderly people.

2. Sexual arousal and orgasm

As we age, the body takes longer to achieve sexual arousal and more time to achieve orgasm. As various body functions age, the blood flow to the reproductive area will also decrease, and the body will become less sensitive. Likewise, a decrease in sexual desire has a negative impact on sexual arousal and orgasm. At the same time, large amounts of alcohol, the side effects of medications, and physical conditions can also make it difficult to be sexually aroused and orgasm.

3. Pain during sexual intercourse

The inner wall of the vagina will become thinner, reduce its elasticity and reduce its lubrication effect. Pain and discomfort during sexual intercourse will occur, and sexual intercourse will be unpleasant, resulting in reduced sexual desire and disinterest in sexual life.

How to have a better sex life?

Next, we will introduce several ways to improve your sex life.

Communicate with your partner

Communication is the foundation of everything. Communicate openly with your partner, express your wishes and ideas, and also share each other's fears. It may be difficult or embarrassing to start an open conversation about this topic, but it is necessary to help both parties' relationship and intimacy, which is also for a better sexual experience.

Focus on intimacy

When starting to explore, focus on mutual intimacy. You can increase intimacy through hugs, kisses, touches, or verbal inquiries. Don't be shy, touch your partner's body, look into your partner's eyes, and express your love with actions and words. Pay attention to being gentle with each other during this process.

Take it easy

Take your time and do something romantic before sex, such as a romantic candlelight dinner, a bath and massage together, or a fun date. Maybe you have a better idea, do something to relax each other or do something interesting to relax and relieve stress.


As we age, the lubrication of vaginal secretions becomes insufficient, leading to discomfort and pain during sexual intercourse. You can use generous and long-lasting lubrication, my recommendation is, use silicone-based lube. It can be kept lubricated for a long time and will not dry out easily, but it cannot be used with silicone sex toys. If you want a lubricant with a wider range of applications, I recommend a water-based lubricant

Expand your definition of sex

It's important to expand your definition of sex and break down some stereotypes. It's not just penetration that counts as sex. Sex can be defined more broadly, and intimacy can be expressed in many ways. Kissing, hugging, and holding hands are all sexual categories. No, only sexual intercourse is sex, and sex can be emotional, sensual, and physical. Therefore, by broadening your definition of sex, you can have a better sexual experience.

You can also choose to use sex toys to enhance each other’s sexual experience. Use sex toys as an aid to shorten foreplay, and of course sex toys can also be used during intercourse. It can also help your partner achieve orgasm. Moreover, sex toys are safe, healthy and hygienic, making them a product worth investing in. However, remember to clean sex toys before and after use. If you don’t know what category to choose, my recommendation is a vibrator, which can free your hands and save some energy.

Ask for help

If you have completely lost your desire for sex and intimacy, it is necessary to seek help from a doctor or a sex therapist. Don't be shy. This is normal. This is also for better sex and a healthy life, so that you can better enjoy the benefits of sex and intimacy. Don’t give up on exploring the possibility of a great sex life.

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