Couple sitting on bed, man lying in woman's arms

12 Tips for a More Active Sex Life

Sexual experiences vary from person to person, whether you're intimate with a spouse, partner, close friend, or someone you've recently met. Preferences, desires, and fantasies vary, but one universal truth remains: sex is pleasurable, and sticking to a routine can dampen excitement. Injecting some fun and spontaneity into your sex life can keep the spark alive, and one way to do this is to create a sexual bucket list. While your list should reflect your personal wishes and possibly your partner's, here are some ideas to spark your imagination.

1. Explore something you’ve always been curious about but never dared to try

In this category, we delve into those tantalizing desires that might make you blush but pique your interest every time they appear. Activities such as trying anal sex, exploring group encounters, experimenting with bondage or other BDSM practices, watching adult content together, or even venturing to a strip club as a couple (just remember to bring cash for tips!) are anything but unconventional. . These are experiences that countless people go through every year. It’s completely normal to have these curiosities and desires—it’s what makes us human. The key is to have open communication with your partner to discuss and explore these fantasies together at a pace that makes everyone involved feel comfortable.

2. Enjoy a couples massage

A soothing massage brings incredible sensory relaxation. Sharing this experience with your partner will add a unique charm to your relationship. From entering the room together to taking off your clothes in front of each other, the shared space and calm atmosphere keep your energies intertwined. After the massage, you'll both feel refreshed and energized, and your sense of intimacy will have increased, which will most likely lead to further arousal between the sheets.

3. Try role-playing

While role playing may seem daunting at first, there are many ways to ease into it. Start with a special lingerie set - think schoolgirl, policeman, nurse or French maid - these are easy to find and can add an exciting touch. You can then dive into character creation with your partner, explore activities that excite you both, and even venture into public role-playing situations. The key is to proceed at a pace that is comfortable and enjoyable for both parties.

4. Explore new intimate environments

Let your imagination run wild. Whether in the comfort of your own home (think kitchen encounters, steam rooms or bliss on the balcony) or outdoors, such as in the car, at a friend's house, in a swimming pool or even in an inconspicuous public bathroom (preferably a spacious one), the key is to break away from your usual habits. Sometimes the thrill of intimacy in a novel place ignites a unique spark that reminds you that passion knows no bounds.

5. Engage in non-sexual activities that ignite passion

Who says you need to be undressed or physically intimate to be excited about your partner? Sometimes the excitement of doing something together can set the mood. Many couples find that engaging in fun activities like board games or video games can be surprisingly exciting—there's an undeniable appeal to watching one another compete. Or you could explore activities like cooking a romantic meal together, working up a sweat with a joint workout, or collaborating on a creative project. The key is to use shared experiences to deepen your connection and stoke the flames of desire.

6. Master the Art of Massage

Unleash the potential of foreplay by learning the art of massaging your partner. A well-executed massage not only brings relaxation but also fosters comfort and body positivity. You don't have to make it overtly erotic; the focus should be on promoting relaxation and enhancing intimacy. Consider taking a course or watching instructional videos to hone your skills. Remember, practice makes perfect. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner and ask for feedback on what feels good and what doesn't feel good to ensure you both have an enjoyable experience.

7. Share your fantasies with each other

Starting to talk about your desires in the bedroom shouldn't feel intimidating, but discussing fantasies can sometimes be a little overwhelming. Make it an engaging activity between you and your partner and openly explore what you've always dreamed of, both literally and figuratively. Remember, this is not a binding agreement to fulfill every fantasy discussed; this is simply a safe space for open dialogue. Whether the conversation leads to laughter or a passionate trip to the bedroom, you'll appreciate the intimacy and honesty you share with each other.

A sexy couple hugging and kissing in the elevator

8. Try sex toys together

Looking to add an extra layer of excitement to your intimate moments with your partner? Sex toys offer a wonderful avenue to explore. There are many sex toys designed for shared fun, but you can also get creative with individual toys in a collaborative setting. It’s all about embracing creativity and discovering new avenues of joy together.

9. Explore self-pleasure and orgasm

Whether you're already familiar with masturbation or you're just trying it out, reaching orgasm alone can be quite a journey. It requires patience, self-discovery, and healthy self-love to explore what makes you feel good. Once you master this intimate act, it will open the door to new fantasies, positions, and techniques that you might want to explore with your partner.

If you've only ever used sex toys with a partner, remember that it's possible to indulge in solo play even in a committed relationship. Regardless of your relationship status, self-pleasure is an important aspect of sexual health and exploration.

10. Change things in the bedroom

If you typically find yourself in a certain role in an intimate relationship, why not try switching roles for a change? If you're used to playing a more passive role, take the lead in exploring your dominant side. Conversely, if you're usually the one in control, giving in to your partner's lead can be a refreshing experience. While it may feel a little awkward at first, you may find new joy and excitement once you step out of your comfort zone. Keeping your sex life active and growing is key to preventing boredom and maintaining excitement. Embrace the element of surprise and shake up your daily routine for a truly exciting experience.

11. Explore lingerie for yourself and your partner

You don’t have to wait until a special occasion like a bachelorette party to buy lingerie. It's perfectly acceptable to indulge in lingerie shopping for yourself or at any stage of a relationship. Whether you prefer the power of a cute bra and panty set, the glamor of a teddy bear, or the sex appeal of a sheer bodysuit, there are countless options to explore. So why not give yourself and your partner something special?

12. Explore sex-positive stores

Sex shops often carry a stigma that may deter people from venturing into them. However, they can actually be a valuable resource for exploring and enhancing your sexual desire, whether you're visiting alone, with friends, or with a partner. Many sex shops are staffed by knowledgeable, often female, staff who are not only well-versed in the products they sell, but also offer advice, techniques, and solutions to a variety of sexual problems.

There are many sex-positive shops across the country offering classes and workshops covering a wide range of topics, from safe sex to innovative technology and discussions of LGBTQ+ issues. Some stores even prioritize hiring LGBTQ+ employees to create a welcoming and inclusive environment for all. Don’t hesitate to contact them and ask about their products – this is an opportunity to learn, grow and embrace your sexuality in a supportive environment.

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